Hurdles. We all have to face them at different points in our lives. Some are bigger than others. Some are more of a collective hurdle while others are very personal. I currently find myself facing a hurdle that I thought I had dealt with years ago. Seems I was wrong.
After years of being single, I decided I didn't want to be any longer and got serious about dating again. This brought me in contact with all sorts of men. From guys who were just out for a quickie, to guys who were looking for something a bit more solid but not permanent to guys who weren't looking for anything but a few naughty pics. It's this last category of men that caused me to realize I had some hurdles to get over still. It's not like I'm opposed to them, on the contrary; I have no issue with naughty pics. I just don't see what myself and the words "naughty pics" have in common or why anyone would want to put them in the same sentence? But it happened. A guy I've known for awhile commented that he'd like some from me.
I laughed. For a few long minutes I laughed. All sorts of emotions and thoughts went through my mind at this extremely crazy request. I thought he was drunk and not remembering who he was on the phone with at first; then quickly figured he was just mocking me. Which, seemed like the more realistic of the two options. But, he assured me that he was more than serious.
And then I had to admit to my personal hurdle. I have wanted my whole life to be seen as this uber goddess that men trip over to get to. To be desired like most women are. But, I never have. And I realized, I've never allowed myself to see myself that way. It's like that catch phrase at the end of every episode of Drag Race about if you don't love yourself how can you love anyone else. If I've never been seen as an uber goddess it's because I've never seen myself that way.
So, then what does the 'disco' part of the title have to do with the article? Nothing. I just wanted an extra 'D' word.
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